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Quotation:
“
You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, "See if you can blow this out."
”
Jerry Seinfeld quotes
(
American
television
Actor
and
Comedian
, b.
1954
)
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1-10 Quotations of
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Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason
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“
Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.
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“
I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything.
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“
It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.
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People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to
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“
My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.
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“
A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.
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Comedian
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“
There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked."
”
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1954
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“
The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun.
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“
A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.
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