Jerry Seinfeld quotes

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Jerry Seinfeld quotes

“My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.”
Jerry Seinfeld quotes (American television Actor and Comedian, b.1954)
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Quotes about: Law.

Quotes with: Florida, law, move, parents, sixty, The Law, turned, want.

Jerry Seinfeld said: "My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they..." and:

“According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.”
Jerry Seinfeld quotes (American television Actor and Comedian, b.1954)
Similar Quotes. About: Fear quotes, Death and dying quotes, Speech quotes.
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“Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason”
Jerry Seinfeld quotes (American television Actor and Comedian, b.1954)
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“I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything.”
Jerry Seinfeld quotes (American television Actor and Comedian, b.1954)
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“Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.”
Jenny0103 Jerry Seinfeld quotes (American television Actor and Comedian, b.1954)
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“Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen. To men, sex is an emergency, and no matter what we're doing we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They're very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur."”
bumbo Jerry Seinfeld quotes (American television Actor and Comedian, b.1954)
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“Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason”
Jerry Seinfeld quotes (American television Actor and Comedian, b.1954)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to”
Jerry Seinfeld quotes (American television Actor and Comedian, b.1954)
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“It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.”
Jerry Seinfeld quotes (American television Actor and Comedian, b.1954)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Newspapers quotes.
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“The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!”
Jerry Seinfeld quotes (American television Actor and Comedian, b.1954)
Similar Quotes.
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“Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.”
Jenny0103 Jerry Seinfeld quotes (American television Actor and Comedian, b.1954)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
Add to Chapter...

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