My Account Help

Add the "Dynamic Daily Quotation" to Your Site or Blog - it's Easy!

Quotations

Topics > F > Funny

21-30 Quotations of 498

Funny quotes

“I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.”

Winston Churchill quotes (British Orator, Author and Prime Minister during World War II. 1874-1965)

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, God quotes, Death quotes.

Add to Chapter...

“Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.”

sunkissd248

Similar Quotes. About: Friends quotes, Friendship quotes, Funny quotes.

Add to Chapter...

“There is a theory which states that if ever for any reason anyone discovers what exactly the Universe is for and why it is here it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another that states that this has already happened.”

Douglas Adams quotes (British comic Writer, 1952-2001)

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Theory quotes, Universe quotes, Bizarre quotes, Inexplicable quotes. For: T-Shirt quotes.

Add to Chapter...

“Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back”

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.

Add to Chapter...

“I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.”

Janeane Garofalo quotes (American Actress and Comedian. b.1964 Newton, New Jersey, USA)

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.

Add to Chapter...

“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'”

Tommy Cooper quotes

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Driving quotes.

Add to Chapter...

“When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.”

Mae West quotes (American Actress and sex symbol, 1892-1980)

Similar Quotes. About: Evil quotes, Funny quotes. For: T-Shirt quotes.

Add to Chapter...

“Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.”

Benny Hill quotes (English Comedian and Humorist, 1924-1992)

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.

Add to Chapter...

“I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure”

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.

Add to Chapter...

“Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year”

Victor Borge quotes (Danish born American Comedian and Pianist, 1909-2000)

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.

Add to Chapter...

Submit a New Quote about Funny

<< Funerals quotes

Future quotes >>