sayings quotes

We all know the common sayings used in daily life and mostly shaped by our grandparents... Try using one of the following. They are different and funny... perhaps you make some people smile or even laugh with these funny sayings!

"I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory."
Jenny0103  Proverb quotes
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"Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film."
Anonymous quotes
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"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried"
Anonymous quotes
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"Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back"
Stephen Wright quotes (American comedian, actor and writer, b.1955)
About: Money quotes, Funny quotes, Pessimism quotes, Comedy quotes.
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"Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak."
santiz  Anonymous quotes
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"I'm not insensitive, I just don't care."
Jenny0103  Unknown quotes Suggest an author
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"Shin: Device for finding furniture in the dark"
Anonymous quotes
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"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure"
Anonymous quotes
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"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory"
Anonymous quotes
About: Conscience quotes, Memory quotes, Funny quotes.
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"I started out with nothing. I still have most of it."
Michael Davis quotes
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"Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret."
Dr. Laurence J. Peter quotes (American "hierarchiologist", educator and writer, 1919-1990)
About: Communication quotes, Anger quotes, Speech quotes, Regret quotes.
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"When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before."
Mae West quotes (American actress and sex symbol, 1892-1980)
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"Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic."
Anonymous quotes
About: Courage quotes, Change quotes.
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"If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?""
Will Rogers quotes (American entertainer, famous for his pithy and homespun humour, 1879-1935)
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"Disneyland: A people trap operated by a mouse."
Jenny0103  Unknown quotes Suggest an author
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"The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist fears it is true."
J. Robert Oppenheimer quotes (American theoretical physicist nicknamed the 'Father of the Atomic Bomb'. 1904-1967)
About: Optimism quotes, Funny quotes.
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"Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician."
Unknown quotes Suggest an author
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"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes."
Jack Handey quotes (American Comic writer, comedian and actor on SNL. Famous for his Deep Thoughts, b.1949)
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"Don't hate yourself in the morning. Sleep till noon."
Jenny0103  Unknown quotes Suggest an author
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"You've got about as much chance as finding a vegetarian pit bull terrier"
Jenny0103  Unknown quotes Suggest an author
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"Laughter is an instant vacation."
Unknown quotes Suggest an author
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"He who laughs last laughs longest"
Proverb quotes
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