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Waiter quotes

“A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“There are things you just can't do in life. You can't beat the phone company, you can't make a waiter see you until he's ready to see you, and you can't go home again.”
Bill Bryson quotes (American Writer, b.1946)
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“The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, "Could I get you your check?" and we answered, "How about the menu first?"”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass”
Phyllis Diller quotes (American comedienne and actress, born 1917)
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“A diplomat these days in nothing, but a head waiter who is allowed to sit down occasionally.”
Peter Ustinov quotes (English actor and writer, b. 1921)

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“When you find a waiter who is a waiter and not an actor, writer, musician or poet, you've found a jewel.”
Andre Soltner quotes
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“In a restaurant choose a table near a waiter”
Jewish Proverb quotes

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“The best number for a dinner party is two - myself and a damn good head waiter”
Nubar Gulbenkian quotes (British Businessman. 1896-1972)

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“Well, isn't Bohemia a place where everyone is as good as everyone else -- and must not a waiter be a little less than a waiter to be a good Bohemian?”
Djuna Barnes quotes

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“With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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