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Roommate quotes

“Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, "Do I know you?"”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
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“My roommate says, I'm going to take a shower and shave, does anyone need to use the bathroom? It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first.”
Mitch Hedberg quotes (American Comedian, 1968-2005)
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“I like cinnamon rolls, but I don't always have time to make a pan. That's why I wish they would sell cinnamon roll incense. After all I'd rather light a stick and have my roommate wake up with false hopes.”
Mitch Hedberg quotes (American Comedian, 1968-2005)
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“I don't need to pay a therapist to give me crap. I have a roommate that does it for free.”
Mofee123 Ally McBeal quotes (Fictionnal character of the sitcom "Ally McBeal")
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“I'm not the easiest person to live with. I'm kind of a slob. So for me to consider a roommate, it would have to be one of my sisters or something.”
Katie Holmes quotes (American Actress, b.1978)
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“My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
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