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Cars quotes

“In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn't have to ride around with jerks.”
Scott Adams quotes (American Cartoonist, b.1957)
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“No illusion is more crucial than the illusion that great success and huge money buy you immunity from the common ills of mankind, such as cars that won't start.”
Larry McMurty quotes

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“I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“Sometimes, when I drive across the desert in the middle of the night, with no other cars around, I start imagining: What if there were no civilization out there? No cities, no factories, no people? And then I think: No people or factories? Then who made this car? And this highway? And I get so confused I have to stick my head out the window into the driving rain---unless there's lightning, because I could get struck on the head by a bolt.”
dmg Jack Handy quotes (American Writer and cast member of Saturday Night Live from 1991-2003. Famous for his Deep Thoughts comedy sketches.)
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“Only in America - do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage”


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“It's interesting to think that my ancestors used to live in the trees, like apes, until finally they got the nerve to head out onto the plains, where some were probably hit by cars”
Jack Handy quotes (American Writer and cast member of Saturday Night Live from 1991-2003. Famous for his Deep Thoughts comedy sketches.)
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“The only way to solve the traffic problems of the country is to pass a law that only paid-for cars are allowed to use the highways. That would make traffic so scarce, we could use our boulevards for children's playgrounds.”
Will Rogers quotes (American entertainer, famous for his pithy and homespun humour, 1879-1935)
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“If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1000 MPG”
Bill Gates quotes (American Entrepreneur and Founder of Microsoft Co., b.1955)
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“I know a lot about cars. I can look at a car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.”


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“A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman "Can I park here?" "No" says the cop. "What about all these other cars?" "They didn't ask!"”
Henny Youngman quotes
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