“I was walking by a drycleaner at 3a.m. and there was a sign that said Sorry, we're closed. You don't have to be sorry. It's 3a.m. and your a drycleaner. It would be ridiculous for me to expect you to be open. I'm not gonna come by at 10 and say, hey I was here at 3a.m and you guys were closed. Someone owes me an apology.”
rachel2007  Mitch Hedberg quotes (American Comedian, 1968-2005)
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“I tried walking into a Target , but I missed.”
rachel2007  Mitch Hedberg quotes (American Comedian, 1968-2005)
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“I get the Reese's candy bar, If you read it, there's an apostrophe. The candy bar is his. I didn't know that. Next time your eating a Reese's and some guy named Reese comes up to you and says let me have that. You better give it to him. I'm sorry Reece, I didn't think I would ever run into you.”
rachel2007  Mitch Hedberg quotes (American Comedian, 1968-2005)
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