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“We idolized the Beatles, except for those of us who idolized the Rolling Stones, who in those days still had many of their original teeth.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said "CIGARETTES CONTAIN FAT."”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around the bodies of forty-seven-year-olds who tried to learn snowboarding.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that comes on the market about two days after you actually purchase some other computer.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using only your teeth.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Talking about golf is always boring. (Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part where you try to hit the little ball; only the part where you drive the cart.)”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by sheep.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“I recently had my annual physical examination, which I get once every seven years, and when the nurse weighed me, I was shocked to discover how much stronger the Earth's gravitational pull has become since 1990.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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