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“We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human race, I would give the same answer that most people would: nuclear war, global warming and Windows.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of M&M's and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“I realize that I'm generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize, I don't care.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Admit it, sport-utility-vehicle owners! It's shaped a little differently, but it's a station wagon! And you do not drive it across rivers! You drive it across the Wal-Mart parking lot!”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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