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“The real threat to whales is whaling, which has endangered many whale species.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitution - "to spew out paper."”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said "CIGARETTES CONTAIN FAT."”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“New York Taxi Rules: 1. Driver speaks no English. 2. Driver just got here two days ago from someplace like Segal. 3. Driver hates you.”
themuzikchid Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“There is a breed of fashion models who weigh no more than an abridged dictionary.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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