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    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteThe most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating...


...and you finish off as an orgasm.
 Mehgan

 George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteYou know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar

 George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteWhen you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands

 George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteWeather forecast for tonight: dark.

 George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteIf we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him

 George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteHave you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.
 skrehmani

 Neil Gaiman quotes (English born American Novelist, Journalist, Screenwriter, Children's author and Comics writer of American Gods, amongst many others, b.1960)

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