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“The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it.”
Edward Koch quotes (American 105th Mayor the City of New York and Author, b.1924)
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“Remember in elementary school you were told that in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file from smallest to tallest? What is the logic in that? What, do tall people burn slower?”
Warren Hutcherson quotes
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“Mosquitoes remind us that we are not as high up on the food chain as we think”
Tom Wilson quotes (American actor, writer and comedian)
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“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.”
Ellen DeGeneres quotes (American Actress and stand-up Comedian, b.1958 New Orleans, Louisiana, USA)
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“Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.”
Robin Williams quotes (American actor)
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“I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough, let's go west.'”
Richard Jeni quotes (American actor and comedian)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Poverty quotes.
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“Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build bridges even when there are no rivers.”
Nikita Khrushchev quotes (First secretary of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union, 1894-1971)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Politicians quotes.
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“Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason”
Jerry Seinfeld quotes (American television Actor and Comedian, b.1954)
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“I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone.”
Jenny0103 Tommy Cooper quotes
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“Friends are like television. Some are like PBS and always asking for money. Others are like the news, with sad tales to tell everyday, some are like that one station with the foreign language; you don't understand a word of it but you listen and watch.”

Similar Quotes. About: Friends quotes, Children quotes, Funny quotes.
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“Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.”
Calvin & Hobbes quotes (Fictional characters from the comic series created by Bill Watterson.)
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