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“The art of never making a mistake is crucial to motherhood. To be effective and to gain the respect she needs to function, a other must have her children believe she has never engaged in sex, never made a bad decision, never caused her own mother a moment's anxiety, and was never a child.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)

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“Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: ''Checkout Time is 18 years.''”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“I'm going to stop punishing my children by saying, "Never mind! I'll do it myself."”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“I'm trying very hard to understand this generation. They have adjusted the timetable for childbearing so that menopause and teaching a sixteen-year-old how to drive a car will occur in the same week.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
Similar Quotes. About: Death and dying quotes, Bed quotes, Order quotes.
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“Never have more children than you have car windows.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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