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“That's an act, that's a frying pan, that's a stove, you're an alcoholic! Dude, I'm tripping right now, and I still see that that's a fucking egg, alright? I see the UFO's around it, but that's a goddamn egg in the middle. There's a hobbit eating it, but goddammit that hobbit's eating a fucking egg! He's on a unicorn. But, no, th-th-th-that's a fucking egg. How dare you have a wino tell me not to do drugs!”

Bill Hicks quotes (American Comedian, b.1961)

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“They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort. There is a difference.”

Bill Hicks quotes (American Comedian, b.1961)

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“I have never seen two people on pot get in a fight because it is fucking IMPOSSIBLE. "Hey, buddy!" "Hey, what?" "Ummmmmmm...." End of argument.”

Bill Hicks quotes (American Comedian, b.1961)

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“No, I don't do drugs anymore, either. But I'll tell you something about drugs. I used to do drugs, but I'll tell you something honestly about drugs, honestly, and I know it's not a very popular idea, you don't hear it very often anymore, but it is the truth: I had a great time doing drugs. Sorry. Never murdered anyone, never robbed anyone, never raped anyone, never beat anyone, never lost a job, a car, a house, a wife or kids, laughed my ass off, and went about my day.”

Bill Hicks quotes (American Comedian, b.1961)

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“"This is your brain." I've seen a lot of weird shit on drugs. I have never ever ever ever EVER looked at a fucking egg and thought it was a brain.”

Bill Hicks quotes (American Comedian, b.1961)

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“Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet. Doesn't the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit . . . unnatural?”

Bill Hicks quotes (American Comedian, b.1961)

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“I don't do drugs anymore... than say, the average touring funk band.”

Bill Hicks quotes (American Comedian, b.1961)

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“If you don't think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD's and burn them.”

Bill Hicks quotes (American Comedian, b.1961)

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“I have something to tell you non-smokers that I know for a fact that you don't know, and I feel it's my duty to pass on information at all times. Ready?. . . . Non-smokers die every day . . . Enjoy your evening. See, I know that you entertain this eternal life fantasy because you've chosen not to smoke, but let me be the 1st to POP that bubble and bring you hurling back to reality . . . You're dead too.”

Bill Hicks quotes (American Comedian, b.1961)

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“Christianity has a built-in defense system: anything that questions a belief, no matter how logical the argument is, is the work of Satan by the very fact that it makes you question a belief. It's a very interesting defense mechanism and the only way to get by it -- and believe me, I was raised Southern Baptist -- is to take massive amounts of mushrooms, sit in a field, and just go, "Show me."”

Bill Hicks quotes (American Comedian, b.1961)

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“The musicians today who don't do drugs and in fact speak out against it? "Rock Against Drugs?" BOY do they suck.”

Bill Hicks quotes (American Comedian, b.1961)

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