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“Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'”
Charles M. Schulz quotes (American cartoonist, 1922-2000) Character: Charlie Brown quotes. Book: Peanuts quotes
About: Humor quotes, Wisdom quotes, Funny quotes, Lies quotes, Questioning quotes.
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“Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes.
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“If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children".”

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Advice quotes.
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“The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.”
Franklin P. Jones quotes (American Businessman, 1887-1929)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back”

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.”
Robin Williams quotes (American actor)
Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes, God quotes, Comedy quotes.
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“I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.”
Janeane Garofalo quotes (American Actress and Comedian. b.1964 Newton, New Jersey, USA)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“Americans have different ways of saying things. They say "elevator", we say "lift"... they say "President", we say "stupid psychopathic git.”
Alexai Sayle quotes
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, America and Americans quotes.
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“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.”
Elayne Boosler quotes (American Comedian and Activist. b.1952)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Men and Women quotes, Men quotes, Women quotes.
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“Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else”
Will Rogers quotes (American entertainer, famous for his pithy and homespun humour, 1879-1935)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer”

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Computers quotes.
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