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So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'
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So I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died.'
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So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
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