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“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.”
Robin Williams quotes (American actor)
About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes, God quotes, Comedy quotes.
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“I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.”
Janeane Garofalo quotes (American Actress and Comedian. b.1964 Newton, New Jersey, USA)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.”
Dr. Laurence J. Peter quotes (American "hierarchiologist", Educator and Writer, 1919-1990)
Similar Quotes. About: Communication quotes, Funny quotes, Anger quotes, Speech quotes.
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“If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?”
Tom Snyder quotes
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“There Are Three Kinds of People - Those Who Can Count and Those Who Can't”

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?”
Rita Rudner quotes (American Writer and Comedian, b.1955 Miami, Florida, USA)
Similar Quotes. About: Sex quotes, Marriage quotes, Funny quotes.
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“Americans have different ways of saying things. They say "elevator", we say "lift"... they say "President", we say "stupid psychopathic git.”
Alexai Sayle quotes
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, America and Americans quotes.
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“Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas”
Paula Poundstone quotes (American Comic, b.1959)
Similar Quotes. About: Children quotes, Funny quotes, Adulthood quotes, Ideas quotes.
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“I've never had a problem with drugs. I've had problems with the police.”
Keith Richards quotes (English Guitarist (Rolling Stones), b.1943)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes. For: T-Shirt quotes.
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“Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 feet per second, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
Woody Allen quotes (American Actor, Author, Screenwriter and Film Director, b.1935)
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