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“Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two week's notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have”
Bob Ettinger quotes
About: Funny quotes, Relationships quotes.
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“A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is one who hopes they are.”
Chauncey Depew quotes (American Industrialist and Politician, 1834-1928)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Men and Women quotes, Optimism quotes. For: T-Shirt quotes.
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“I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.”
Frank Sinatra quotes (American Actor and Singer, 1915-1998)
Similar Quotes. About: Drinking quotes, Funny quotes.
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“Well, it seems to me that the best relationships - the ones that last - are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is... suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with”
Gillian Anderson quotes (American Actress (Dana Sculley-X Files), b.1968) Character: Special Agent Dana Scully quotes. Movie: The X-Files quotes
Similar Quotes. About: Relationships quotes.
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“I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.”
Will Shriner quotes (American Comedian, b.1953)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Death and dying quotes.
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“When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.”
Emo Philips quotes
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Forgiveness quotes.
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“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Relationships quotes.
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“A sad thing in life is that sometimes you meet someone who means a lot to you only to find out in the end that it was never bound to be and you just have to let go.”

Similar Quotes. About: Relationships quotes.
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“A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer”

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Computers quotes.
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“Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes.
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“Remember in elementary school you were told that in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file from smallest to tallest? What is the logic in that? What, do tall people burn slower?”
Warren Hutcherson quotes
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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