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“People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine.”
David Letterman quotes (American television Host and Comedian. He hosts "Late Night with David Letterman". b.1947)
About: Funny quotes, America and Americans quotes.
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“New York's such a wonderful city. Although I was at the library today. The guys are very rude. I said, "I'd like a card." He says, "You have to prove you're a citizen of New York." So I stabbed him.”
Emo Philips quotes
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, New York quotes.
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“I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough, let's go west.'”
Richard Jeni quotes (American actor and comedian)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Poverty quotes.
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“Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework”
Bill Cosby quotes (American Actor, Comedian and Producer. b.1937, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA)
Similar Quotes. About: Education quotes, Sex quotes, Children quotes, Funny quotes, Comedy quotes.
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“I'm so ugly - My father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Fathers quotes.
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“The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.”
Rita Mae Brown quotes (American Writer, b.1944)
Similar Quotes. About: Best friend quotes, Funny quotes.
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“Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who would be willing to test any drug they could come up with”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Drugs quotes.
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“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.”
Ellen DeGeneres quotes (American Actress and stand-up Comedian, b.1958 New Orleans, Louisiana, USA)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.”
Robin Williams quotes (American actor)
Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes, Divorce quotes, Comedy quotes.
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“Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 feet per second, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”
Drew Carey quotes (American Comedian, b.1958)
Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes, Hate quotes, Jobs quotes.
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