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“Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)

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“The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
Similar Quotes. About: Sex quotes, Funny quotes.
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“I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: ''Checkout Time is 18 years.''”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
Similar Quotes. About: Death and dying quotes, Bed quotes, Order quotes.
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“Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“Mother's words of wisdom: "Answer me! Don't talk with food in your mouth!"”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
Similar Quotes. About: Wisdom quotes, Food quotes.
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“I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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