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“Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)

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“Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“Have you any idea how many kids it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen? Three. It takes one to say, "What light?" and two more to say, "I didn't turn it on."”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
Similar Quotes. About: Children quotes, Ideas quotes.
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“Never have more children than you have car windows.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit in rooms they never clean, and are entertained till they drop? If you have just answered, "A house guest," you're wrong because I have just described my kids.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“I'm going to stop punishing my children by saying, "Never mind! I'll do it myself."”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
Similar Quotes. About: Danger quotes.
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