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“Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What Men Want: Tickets for the world series.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“The difference between men and women is that, if given the choice between saving the life of an infant or catching a fly ball, a woman will automatically choose to save the infant, without even considering if there's a man on base.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of M&M's and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be himself -- to laugh with me, but never at me; to cry with me, but never because of me; to love life, to love himself, to love being loved. Such a relationship is based upon freedom and can never grow in a jealous heart.”
Leo F. Buscaglia quotes (American guru, tireless advocate of the power of love, 1924-1998)
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“Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes.
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