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“My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)

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“My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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“I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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“I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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“I'm so ugly - My father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Fathers quotes.
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“Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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“At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
Similar Quotes. About: Hope quotes.
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