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“My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)

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11-20 Quotations of 36

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“When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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“girl phoned me the other day and said .... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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“I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
Similar Quotes. About: Children quotes, Cheating quotes.
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“I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
Similar Quotes. About: Food quotes, Sex quotes.
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“I was such an ugly kid - When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
Similar Quotes. About: Children quotes, Funny quotes.
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“One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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“I'm so ugly - I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
Similar Quotes. About: Ugliness quotes.
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“My mother never breast-fed me. She told me she liked me as a friend.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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“I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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“We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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