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“My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)

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“I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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“I was so poor growing up - if I wasn't a boy - I'd have had nothing to play with”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.”
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“I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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“My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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“I'm so ugly - My mother had morning sickness - After I was born”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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“My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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“I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
Similar Quotes. About: Marriage quotes, Wives quotes, Relationships quotes.
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“My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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“On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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