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“My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)

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“My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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“I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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“When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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“My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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“One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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“I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”
crzmunkey45 Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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“My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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“I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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“What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
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