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“My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)

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“There is one thing I have never taught my body how to do and that is to figure out at 6 A.M. what it wants to eat at 6 P.M.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, "No, thank you," to dessert that night. And for what!”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“I have a theory about the human mind. A brain is a lot like a computer. It will only take so many facts, and then it will go on overload and blow up.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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