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“My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)

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“Everyone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions that beg to be ignored, but mothers seem to have a market on the supply. "Do you want a spanking or do you want to go to bed?" "Don't you want to save some of the pizza for your brother?" "Wasn't there any change?"”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
Similar Quotes. About: Sex quotes, Funny quotes.
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“When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“It is ludicrous to read the microwave direction on the boxes of food you buy, as each one will have a disclaimer: "THIS WILL VARY WITH YOUR MICROWAVE." Loosely translated, this means, "You're on your own, Bernice."”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
Similar Quotes. About: Death and dying quotes, Bed quotes, Order quotes.
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“It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“Skiing: I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Ski quotes.
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“If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, "Yes, I've got dreams, of course I've got dreams." Then they put the box away and bring it out once in awhile to look in it, and yep, they're still there.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Television quotes.
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