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“My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.”
Rita Rudner quotes (American Writer and Comedian, b.1955 Miami, Florida, USA)

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“I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.”
Rita Rudner quotes (American Writer and Comedian, b.1955 Miami, Florida, USA)
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“Men hate to lose. I beat my husband once at tennis. I asked him, "Will we ever make love again?" He said, "Yes.... but not with each other."”
Smorgas Rita Rudner quotes (American Writer and Comedian, b.1955 Miami, Florida, USA)
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“Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?”
Rita Rudner quotes (American Writer and Comedian, b.1955 Miami, Florida, USA)
Similar Quotes. About: Sex quotes, Marriage quotes, Funny quotes.
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“I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.”
Winston Churchill quotes (British Orator, Author and Prime Minister during World War II. 1874-1965)
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“Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.”
Roseanne quotes (American Actress and Comedian, b.1952)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Women quotes.
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“Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.”
Rita Rudner quotes (American Writer and Comedian, b.1955 Miami, Florida, USA)
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“I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.”
Rita Rudner quotes (American Writer and Comedian, b.1955 Miami, Florida, USA)
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“When I eventually met Mr Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.”
Rita Rudner quotes (American Writer and Comedian, b.1955 Miami, Florida, USA)
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“I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”
Rita Rudner quotes (American Writer and Comedian, b.1955 Miami, Florida, USA)
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“My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside.”
Roseanne quotes (American Actress and Comedian, b.1952)
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