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“Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You can't stare at it long, it's too risky. You get a sense of it then you look away.”
Jerry Seinfield quotes

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“It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.”
Jerry Seinfeld quotes (American television Actor and Comedian, b.1954)
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“I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?'”
Jerry Seinfield quotes
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“The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews, Bottle openers. 'Come on, buddy, let's go. You get past me, the guy in back of me, he's got a spoon. Back off. I've got the toe clippers right here.”
Jerry Seinfeld quotes (American television Actor and Comedian, b.1954)
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“I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything.”
Jerry Seinfeld quotes (American television Actor and Comedian, b.1954)
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“Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen. To men, sex is an emergency, and no matter what we're doing we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They're very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur."”
bumbo Jerry Seinfeld quotes (American television Actor and Comedian, b.1954)
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“Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason”
Jerry Seinfeld quotes (American television Actor and Comedian, b.1954)
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“Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.”
Jenny0103 Jerry Seinfeld quotes (American television Actor and Comedian, b.1954)
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“Men we drive ourselves crazy. Men always want to marry a virgin, but during the act of sex on the wedding night we tell the women to say 'you're the best, you're the best', then afterwards we wonder better than who?”
Jerry Seinfield quotes
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“You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon.' Need I say more?”
santiz Chris Rock quotes
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“Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.”
Jerry Seinfeld quotes (American television Actor and Comedian, b.1954)
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