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“Listen, lad. I built this kingdom up from nothing. When I started here, all there was was swamp. Other kings said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em. It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third one. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one... stayed up! And that's what you're gonna get, lad: the strongest castle in these islands.”
mojomonkey77 Monty Python quotes (Creators and stars of the television comedy series Monty Python's Flying Circus.)

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“Dinsdale, He was a nice boy...... He nailed my head to a coffee table.”
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“No it can't! An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.”
Monty_Python_MP Monty Python quotes (Creators and stars of the television comedy series Monty Python's Flying Circus.)
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“Nobody expects the Spanish inquisition!”
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“Of course, it’s a bit of a jump, isn’t it? I mean, er… chartered accountancy to lion taming in one go… You don’t think it might be better if you worked your way towards lion taming, say via banking?”
ellaroar Monty Python quotes (Creators and stars of the television comedy series Monty Python's Flying Circus.)
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“Honesty, simplicity and truth are the secret to his comedy,”
Monty Python quotes (Creators and stars of the television comedy series Monty Python's Flying Circus.)
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“This is a dead parrot!”
Monty Python quotes (Creators and stars of the television comedy series Monty Python's Flying Circus.)
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““It was a fantastic success. Over 60 000 times more powerful than Britain’s great pre-war joke, and one which Hitler just couldn’t match.””
ellaroar Monty Python quotes (Creators and stars of the television comedy series Monty Python's Flying Circus.)
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“Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?”
shadowfax42 Monty Python quotes (Creators and stars of the television comedy series Monty Python's Flying Circus.)
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“There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting.”
Mark Twain quotes (American Humorist, Writer and Lecturer. 1835-1910)
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“Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 feet per second, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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