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“It was a woman who drove me to drink -- and, you know, I never even thanked her.”
W. C. Fields quotes (American Comic and Actor, 1880-1946)

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“Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes, Alcohol quotes, Women quotes.
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“Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.”
W. C. Fields quotes (American Comic and Actor, 1880-1946)
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“Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.”
W. C. Fields quotes (American Comic and Actor, 1880-1946)
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“Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.”
W. C. Fields quotes (American Comic and Actor, 1880-1946)
Similar Quotes. About: Attitude quotes.
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“I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.”
W. C. Fields quotes (American Comic and Actor, 1880-1946)
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“Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.”
W. C. Fields quotes (American Comic and Actor, 1880-1946)
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“Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.”
W. C. Fields quotes (American Comic and Actor, 1880-1946)
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“I must have a drink of breakfast.”
W. C. Fields quotes (American Comic and Actor, 1880-1946)
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“Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.”
W. C. Fields quotes (American Comic and Actor, 1880-1946)
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“The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.”
W. C. Fields quotes (American Comic and Actor, 1880-1946)
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