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“It is a well-known fact that although the public is fine when taken individually, when it forms itself into large groups, it tends to act as though it has one partially consumed Pez tablet for a brain.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to talk to us. (By they I mean computers: I doubt scientists will ever be able to talk to us.)”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“In fact, when you get right down to it, almost every explanation Man came up with for anything until about 1926 was stupid”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. (This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print.)”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“I recently had my annual physical examination, which I get once every seven years, and when the nurse weighed me, I was shocked to discover how much stronger the Earth's gravitational pull has become since 1990.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“While you are destroying your mind watching the worthless, brain-rotting drivel on TV, we on the Internet are exchanging, freely and openly, the most uninhibited, intimate and, yes, shocking details about our "CONFIG.SYS" settings.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“I am a world-class weenie when it comes to letting people stick needles into me. My subconscious mind firmly believes that if God had wanted us to have direct access to our bloodstreams, He would have equipped our skin with small, clearly marked doors.”
santiz Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you can repeat words! And they don't even have to be true!”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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