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“Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes, Alcohol quotes, Women quotes.
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“Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who would be willing to test any drug they could come up with”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Drugs quotes.
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“If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
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“Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas”
Paula Poundstone quotes (American Comic, b.1959)
Similar Quotes. About: Children quotes, Funny quotes, Adulthood quotes, Ideas quotes.
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“If you can't convince them, confuse them.”
Harry S Truman quotes (American 33rd President of the United States, 1884-1972)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. You think when Jesus comes back he ever wants to see a fucking cross? It's like going up to Jackie Onassis wearing a rifle pendant.”
santiz Bill Hicks quotes (American Comedian, b.1961)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.”
Will Shriner quotes (American Comedian, b.1953)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Death and dying quotes.
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“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner.”
Lynda Montgomery quotes
Similar Quotes. About: Food quotes, Funny quotes.
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“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.”
Elayne Boosler quotes (American Comedian and Activist. b.1952)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Men and Women quotes, Men quotes, Women quotes.
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“Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.”
Charles M. Schulz quotes (American cartoonist, 1922-2000)
Similar Quotes. About: Cute quotes, Funny quotes, World quotes.
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“Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?”
Rita Rudner quotes (American Writer and Comedian, b.1955 Miami, Florida, USA)
Similar Quotes. About: Sex quotes, Marriage quotes, Funny quotes.
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