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“If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.”
Jeff Foxworthy quotes (American comedian, b.1958)

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“The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.”
Jeff Foxworthy quotes (American comedian, b.1958)
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“Other things may change us, but we start and end with family”
Anthony Brandt quotes
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“You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not "professional" any more”
Jeff Foxworthy quotes (American comedian, b.1958)
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“I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.”
Jeff Foxworthy quotes (American comedian, b.1958)
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“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”
Drew Carey quotes (American Comedian, b.1958)
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“Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.”

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“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner.”
Lynda Montgomery quotes
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“The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree is the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other”
Burton Hills quotes
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“You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them.”
Bishop Desmond Tutu quotes (African Spiritual leader and Novelist, b.1931)
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“Friends are God's way of apologizing to us for our families.”

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