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“If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when it needs to establish that its workers are not just sitting around downloading Internet porn”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
Similar Quotes. About: Popularity quotes.
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“I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around the bodies of forty-seven-year-olds who tried to learn snowboarding.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Thanks to my solid academic training, today I can write hundreds of words on virtually any topic without possessing a shred of information, which is how I got a good job in journalism.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Mankind quotes, Inventions quotes, History quotes.
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“I am a world-class weenie when it comes to letting people stick needles into me. My subconscious mind firmly believes that if God had wanted us to have direct access to our bloodstreams, He would have equipped our skin with small, clearly marked doors.”
santiz Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“Washington is nicknamed "The Evergreen State" because it sounds better than "The Incessant Nagging Drizzle State."”
santiz Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
Similar Quotes. About: Sports quotes, Golf quotes.
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“Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
Similar Quotes. About: Sports quotes, Movies quotes.
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