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“If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“I recently had my annual physical examination, which I get once every seven years, and when the nurse weighed me, I was shocked to discover how much stronger the Earth's gravitational pull has become since 1990.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Magnetism is one of the Six Fundamental Forces of the Universe, with the other five being Gravity, Duct Tape, Whining, Remote Control, and The Force That Pulls Dogs Toward The Groins Of Strangers.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of M&M's and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“To enter Europe, you must have a valid passport with a photograph of yourself in which you look like you are being booked on charges of soliciting sheep.”
santiz Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human race, I would give the same answer that most people would: nuclear war, global warming and Windows.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
Similar Quotes. About: Global Warming quotes.
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“The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a computer microchip, can actually travel ahead in time and shave beard hairs that don't even exist yet”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes, Time quotes, Technology quotes.
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