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“If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad.”
santiz Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 feet per second, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said "CIGARETTES CONTAIN FAT."”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has been made in the last 30 years, many foreign people still speak in foreign languages”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
Similar Quotes. About: Travel quotes, Funny quotes, Language quotes, America and Americans quotes, Comedy quotes.
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“It is a well-known fact that although the public is fine when taken individually, when it forms itself into large groups, it tends to act as though it has one partially consumed Pez tablet for a brain.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
Similar Quotes. About: Football quotes, Funny quotes.
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“Europeans, like some Americans, drive on the right side of the road, except in England, where they drive on both sides of the road; Italy, where they drive on the sidewalk; and France, where if necessary they will follow you right into the hotel lobby.”
santiz Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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