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“If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base.”
Dave Berry quotes (English musician, b.1941)
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“One of life's greatest mysteries is how the boy who wasn't good enough to marry your daughter can be the father of the smartest grandchild in the world.”
Proverb quotes
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“Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.”
Robin Williams quotes (American actor)
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“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.”
Ellen DeGeneres quotes (American Actress and stand-up Comedian, b.1958 New Orleans, Louisiana, USA)
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“Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.”
Jenny0103 Jerry Seinfeld quotes (American television Actor and Comedian, b.1954)
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“The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.”
Rita Mae Brown quotes (American Writer, b.1944)
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“Mosquitoes remind us that we are not as high up on the food chain as we think”
Tom Wilson quotes (American actor, writer and comedian)
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“I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize”
Jenny0103 Steven Wright quotes (American Comedian, b.1955)
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“You can say any foolish thing to do to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'”
Dave Berry quotes (English musician, b.1941)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, God quotes.
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“A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: "Duh."”
Conan O'Brien quotes (American Television talk show host (Late Night) and Writer, b.1963)
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“Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.”
Calvin & Hobbes quotes (Fictional characters from the comic series created by Bill Watterson.)
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