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“I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the shape of an Ouija board. You'd think about what kind of food you want, and the table would move across the floor to it.”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)

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“If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
Similar Quotes. About: Words quotes.
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“I wrote a song, but I can't read music. Every time I hear a new song on the radio I think, "Hey, maybe I wrote that."”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
Similar Quotes. About: Music quotes.
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“If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Cats quotes.
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“On the other hand, you have different fingers.”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
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“Black holes are where God divided by zero”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
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“When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
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“A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could only have one book, what would it be? I always say 'How to Build a Boat”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
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“I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
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“There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
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“Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
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