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“I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)

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“On the other hand, you have different fingers.”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
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“My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
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“I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
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“A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, "Wish you were here."”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
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“I live on a one-way street that's also a dead end. I'm not sure how I got there.”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
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“There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
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“I intend to live forever. So far, so good.”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
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“If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
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“A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could only have one book, what would it be? I always say 'How to Build a Boat”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
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“You can't have everything. Where would you put it?”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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