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“Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else”
Will Rogers quotes (American entertainer, famous for his pithy and homespun humour, 1879-1935)
About: Funny quotes.
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31-40 Quotations of 2072

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“I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
Woody Allen quotes (American Actor, Author, Screenwriter and Film Director, b.1935)
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“A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer”

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Computers quotes.
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“I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.”
Janeane Garofalo quotes (American Actress and Comedian. b.1964 Newton, New Jersey, USA)
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“If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.”
George Gobal quotes
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Television quotes.
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“If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?”
Stephen Wright quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Cats quotes.
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“Americans have different ways of saying things. They say "elevator", we say "lift"... they say "President", we say "stupid psychopathic git.”
Alexai Sayle quotes
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, America and Americans quotes.
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“An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the pessimist, half-empty; and the engineer will tell you the glass is twice the size it needs to be”

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Pessimism quotes, Optimism quotes.
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“When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.”
Mae West quotes (American Actress and sex symbol, 1892-1980)
Similar Quotes. About: Evil quotes, Funny quotes. For: T-Shirt quotes.
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“Eskimo: "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?" Priest: "No, not if you did not know." Eskimo: "Then why did you tell me?"”
Annie Dillard quotes (American Author. Won a Pulitzer prize for Pilgrim at Tinker Creek, 1975. b.1945)
Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes, Religion quotes.
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“Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives”
Sue Murphy quotes
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