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“Everyone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions that beg to be ignored, but mothers seem to have a market on the supply. "Do you want a spanking or do you want to go to bed?" "Don't you want to save some of the pizza for your brother?" "Wasn't there any change?"”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)

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“All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit in rooms they never clean, and are entertained till they drop? If you have just answered, "A house guest," you're wrong because I have just described my kids.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“Mother's words of wisdom: "Answer me! Don't talk with food in your mouth!"”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“Never have more children than you have car windows.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: ''Checkout Time is 18 years.''”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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