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“Europeans, like some Americans, drive on the right side of the road, except in England, where they drive on both sides of the road; Italy, where they drive on the sidewalk; and France, where if necessary they will follow you right into the hotel lobby.”
santiz Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

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“Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“I recently had my annual physical examination, which I get once every seven years, and when the nurse weighed me, I was shocked to discover how much stronger the Earth's gravitational pull has become since 1990.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“The difference between men and women is that, if given the choice between saving the life of an infant or catching a fly ball, a woman will automatically choose to save the infant, without even considering if there's a man on base.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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“We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail.”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
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