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“But still, I kept thinking, if I'm still troubled by this, if I'm still carrying it around like a big rucksack full of bricks and my father's dead, I need someone to tell me how to get rid of this great weight. . . . The most awful thing was that it was kind of pleasant physically, you know. That's why nobody tells.”
Billy Connolly quotes (Scottish Actor, b.1942)

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“I'd always been scared of people with tertiary education and high intellects in case they found me wanting. I thought they viewed me as just a welder who knew a few jokes.”
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“I worry about ridiculous things, you know, how does a guy who drives a snowplough get to work in the morning. . . . That can keep me awake for days..”
Billy Connolly quotes (Scottish Actor, b.1942)
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“I don't believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don't want to say I don't believe in God, but I don't think I do. But I believe in people who do.”
Billy Connolly quotes (Scottish Actor, b.1942)
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“I'm a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world's a wonderful. I just think that some people are pretty badly represented. But when you speak to the people themselves they're delightful. They all want so little.”
Billy Connolly quotes (Scottish Actor, b.1942)
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“I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.”
Billy Connolly quotes (Scottish Actor, b.1942)
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“The human race has been set up. Someone, somewhere, is playing a practical joke on us. Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex. Men need to have sex to feel loved. How do we ever get started?”
Billy Connolly quotes (Scottish Actor, b.1942)
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“I'm sure everyone in this room has been told a joke about that subject. I have many times and I've laughed, even though they are horrifying and shocking. . . . I think there's no boundary at all, whether it's that subject or another.”
Billy Connolly quotes (Scottish Actor, b.1942)
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“I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.”
Billy Connolly quotes (Scottish Actor, b.1942)
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“I¹m much bigger in Britain than I am there. I'm well-known, but my name's That Guy in America. . . . People shout: "Hey I know you! You're That Guy."”
Billy Connolly quotes (Scottish Actor, b.1942)
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“What always staggers me is that when people blow their noses, they always look into their hankies to see what came out. What do they expect to find?”
Billy Connolly quotes (Scottish Actor, b.1942)
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