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“An Israeli man's life was saved when he was given a Palestinian man's heart in a heart transplant operation. The guy is doing fine, but the bad news is, he can't stop throwing rocks at himself.”
Jay Leno quotes (American TV Host and Comedian, b.1950)

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“The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.”
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“War continues in Iraq. They're calling it Operation Iraqi Freedom. They were going to call it Operation Iraqi Liberation until they realized that spells 'OIL.'"”
Jay Leno quotes (American TV Host and Comedian, b.1950)
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“Some Democrats say the estimated $60 billion dollar cost of a war with Iraq could be better spent at home. When he heard that, President Bush agreed and announced plans to bomb Ohio.”
Jay Leno quotes (American TV Host and Comedian, b.1950)
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“Bush is smart. I don't think that Bush will ever be impeached, 'cause unlike Clinton, Reagan, or even his father, George W. is immune from scandal. Because, if George W. testifies that he had no idea what was going on, wouldn't you believe him?”
Jenny0103 Jay Leno quotes (American TV Host and Comedian, b.1950)
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“John Kerry speaks French fluently. Democrats are saying he's one in a million. A war hero who speaks French, isn't it more like one in a trillion?”
Jay Leno quotes (American TV Host and Comedian, b.1950)
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“In a speech yesterday John Kerry said that before November he may go to Iraq. Is that a good idea for him to go to Iraq? You thought Bush didn't have a reason to bomb Iraq before.”
Jay Leno quotes (American TV Host and Comedian, b.1950)
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“The Secret Service has announced it is doubling its protection for John Kerry You can understand why - with two positions on every issue, he has twice as many people mad at him.”
Ladyofcathal Jay Leno quotes (American TV Host and Comedian, b.1950)
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“The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.”
ariel Jay Leno quotes (American TV Host and Comedian, b.1950)
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“Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average. Which means you've met your New Year's resolution.”
ariel Jay Leno quotes (American TV Host and Comedian, b.1950)
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“Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.”
Jay Leno quotes (American TV Host and Comedian, b.1950)
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