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“Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has been made in the last 30 years, many foreign people still speak in foreign languages”
Dave Barry quotes (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)
About: Travel quotes, Funny quotes, Language quotes, America and Americans quotes, Comedy quotes.
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31-40 Quotations of 1190

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“Programming today is a race between software engineers stirring to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning.”

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Software quotes.
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“The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.”
Jeff Foxworthy quotes (American comedian, b.1958)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“I was such an ugly kid - When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
Similar Quotes. About: Children quotes, Funny quotes.
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“Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who would be willing to test any drug they could come up with”
George Carlin quotes (American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Drugs quotes.
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“An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the pessimist, half-empty; and the engineer will tell you the glass is twice the size it needs to be”

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Pessimism quotes, Optimism quotes.
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“Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.”

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.”
Rodney Dangerfield quotes (American Comedian, 1921-2004)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Relationships quotes.
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“Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”
Frank Sinatra quotes (American Actor and Singer, 1915-1998)
Similar Quotes. About: Drinking quotes, Funny quotes, Mankind quotes, Enemies quotes, Alcohol quotes.
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“Shin: Device for finding furniture in the dark”

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“Mosquitoes remind us that we are not as high up on the food chain as we think”
Tom Wilson quotes (American actor, writer and comedian)
Similar Quotes. About: Food quotes, Funny quotes.
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