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“A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory”

About: Memory quotes, Funny quotes, Conscience quotes.
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11-20 Quotations of 514

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“When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.”
Emo Philips quotes
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Forgiveness quotes.
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“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”
Drew Carey quotes (American Comedian, b.1958)
Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes, Hate quotes, Jobs quotes.
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“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.”
Robin Williams quotes (American actor)
Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes, God quotes, Comedy quotes.
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“A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed”

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Men and Women quotes, Foolishness quotes, Women quotes.
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“Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'”
Charles M. Schulz quotes (American cartoonist, 1922-2000) Character: Charlie Brown quotes. Book: Peanuts quotes
Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Wisdom quotes, Funny quotes, Lies quotes, Questioning quotes.
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“I started out with nothing. I still have most of it.”
Michael Davis quotes
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.”
Mae West quotes (American Actress and sex symbol, 1892-1980)
Similar Quotes. About: Evil quotes, Funny quotes. For: T-Shirt quotes.
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“Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.”
Calvin & Hobbes quotes (Fictional characters from the comic series created by Bill Watterson.)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.”
Will Shriner quotes (American Comedian, b.1953)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Death and dying quotes.
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“Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas”
Paula Poundstone quotes (American Comic, b.1959)
Similar Quotes. About: Children quotes, Funny quotes, Adulthood quotes, Ideas quotes.
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