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“[Watching a baby being born] is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.”
Jeff Foxworthy quotes (American comedian, b.1958)

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“The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.”
Jeff Foxworthy quotes (American comedian, b.1958)
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“Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?”
Jeff Foxworthy quotes (American comedian, b.1958)
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“If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.”
Jeff Foxworthy quotes (American comedian, b.1958)
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“I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.”
Jeff Foxworthy quotes (American comedian, b.1958)
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“A new baby is like the beginning of all things-wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities.”
Eda J. Le Shan quotes
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“You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not "professional" any more”
Jeff Foxworthy quotes (American comedian, b.1958)
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“A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for”

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“The only time a woman can really succeed in changing a man is when he is a baby”
Natalie Wood quotes (American film Actress 1938-1981)
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“A baby is God's opinion that life should go on. Never will a time come when the most marvelous recent invention is as marvelous as a newborn baby. The finest of our precision watches, the most super-colossal of our supercargo planes don't compare with a newborn baby in the number and ingenuity of coils and springs, in the flow and change of chemical solutions, in timing devises and interrelated parts that are irreplaceable.”
Carl Sandburg quotes (American Historian, Poet and Novelist, 1878-1967)
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“Laughter is like changing a baby's diaper. It doesn't permanently solve any problems, but it makes things more acceptable for a while.”

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